ClotureClub.com: January 18

Arnold’s The Last Stand Movie Review

There’s no nice way to say it — January is the absolute worst month for movies. It’s become such a well-known fact that film aficionados like the ones over at the A.V. Club introduce movies slated for a January release with the assumption that they’ll all be bombs.

This week, I got to see one of those January movies — The Last Stand. Being an Arnold Schwarzenegger fan in my youth, seeing him have to share screen time with Johnny Knoxville made my heart sink. It’s been ten long years since Arnold had a lead roll, and this is how we’re being reunited with the “Last Action Hero”?

You can probably imagine I went into the theater with low expectations. I’m happy to report that I left pleasantly surprised. The Last Stand is really a spaghetti western in an Austrian’s clothing.

The plot is fairly simple — an escaped convict is making a run for the Mexican border, and he’ll need to get through Sheriff Owen’s (Schwarzenegger) one-horse town to be home free. The problem? The escaped convict is armed with a souped-up Corvette ZR-1 that can push 200 MPH, while Owens is only armed with a motley crew of local yokels. (Side note, Chevrolet makes more appearances in this film than most of the supporting cast. Hello product placement!)

the last stand movie review

It takes a while to get the movie into high gear, but once Arnold is saddled up it’s a hell of a ride. I can see why Lionsgate is putting marketing muscle behind this one — they must think it can be a sleeper hit. Arnold even did an “Ask Me Anything” on reddit to promote this thing.

The Rotten Tomato rating for The Last Stand is currently hovering around 60%, which in all honesty is pretty much where it should be. This is three-star cinema at its finest. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, there’s some great action, some great one-liners (one of which was not spoiled by the ad campaign thankfully), and some genuinely funny moments.

So in the doldrums of January releases, The Last Stand stands out. It’s not a homerun by any means, but it may be one of the last times we get to see Arnold swing for the fences.

- Evan Gassman

The Last Stand Trailer

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9 People You Don’t Want to Bump Into at Inauguration

With the Inauguration coming up in a few days, we thought we’d put together a list of people you don’t want to bump into!

Over zealous inaugural volunteer who thinks they have the same authority as the secret service.

secret-service-wannabe

The lone Santorum staffer pacing back and forth on the national mall wondering what might have been.

santorum-guy

The #1 fan who came to inauguration and really believes hope and change will come in the second term and can’t stop telling you about it.

The Romney speechwriter reciting his own prepared speech behind you at Inaguration.

romney-speech-writer

An artist blocking the only path by selling his homemade obama shirts for $50.

obama-salesman

Liberal drum circle celebrating the second coming.

drummers

Redneck that is a secret Obama supporter but decided to attend a southern inaugural party.

rednecks for obama

The college kid who quit his job to be on the campaign trail and became disgruntled because he wasn’t offered a job in the white house.

college-kid

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Broken City Movie Review – Thriller without the Thrills

Sometimes you need to see bad movies in order to appreciate the good ones. This is the mantra I tell myself whenever I see bad movies like Broken City. Broken City is a political thriller that explores sleaziness and corruption in big-city mayoral politics. While this type of plot should be rife with intrigue and exciting twists, the audience is instead left with a scattered storyline and undeveloped characters.

Mark Wahlberg stars as Billy Taggart, an ex-police detective turned private investigator, who is having a hard time making ends meet. That is, until he gets a call from an “old friend”, Nicholas Hostetler (Russell Crowe), the mayor of New York City. Hostetler asks Billy to follow his wife (Catherine Zeta-Jones) and bring him photographic evidence showing she is having an affair. The Mayor explains that he is in a close race for reelection and does not want the people of New York to hear about this indiscretion and think him weak. After Billy seemingly completes the job, he realizes that this was not all it seemed; Hostetler has ulterior motives and needs to be stopped before his re-election.

Broken City Review - Thriller without the Thrills

It’s unfortunate that undeveloped characters and a drawn-out, disorganized storyline take away from Broken City’s interesting premise. The extremely one-dimensional characters are not written to evoke any kind of emotion from the audience and never feel like actual people. In fact, throughout most of the movie even the “good guys” are detached and unlikeable. With such big names as Russell Crowe, Mark Wahlberg and Catherine Zeta-Jones, it’s unfortunate that their talents were wasted. If the screenwriter had spent a little more time developing the characters, this might have been a better film.

The storyline is unnecessarily convoluted; at times it is hard to keep up with what is going on and who is double-crossing whom. Additionally, the “twist” isn’t that shocking or interesting and there are many plot points that serve no purpose, such as the relationship between Billy and his actress girlfriend. Amidst the moments of forced conflict, it was difficult to feel invested in what would happen next. Broken City does have funny dialogue, mostly between Billy and his assistant (Alona Tal). Unfortunately, the other laughs came unintentionally during serious scenes, like when a box with incriminating information against Hostetler happens to be discarded right when Billy is looking through the trash. Due to the dull plot twist and lack of character development, the film ended up being a thriller without the thrills.

Broken City is not the type of movie you will remember a month from now. The storyline was uninteresting and the characters were forgettable. If you’re dying to see it, I would suggest waiting for its T.V. release. On the bright side, at least in this film Russell Crowe didn’t sing.

Broken City Review Trailer

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Here’s Obama’s New Official Portrait

Fresh from the White House flickr page, Obama’s New Official Portrait. Taken by White House Photographer, Pete Souza. This official portrait will hang in all federal buildings.

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