Dear Baby Jesus in Heaven, the holy grail of intern/staffer stories was provided to us on a silver platter this week. A paid intern / staffer was accused of choking Lindsay Lohan. Give that man a raise and the keys to the Chief of Staff suite.
Lindsay Lohan and Congressional Staffer / Inter Christian LaBella
I can’t decide if this Shimkus kid is a total douche or totally awesome for partying with Lindsay Lohan.
- Party Staffer
Well Party Staffer,
Douche for partying. Awesome for photographing and allegedly choking to get his phone back. The interesting thing is that EVERY source wrote about the story in a slightly different way. Paid intern? Unpaid intern? Staffer? Current employee? Former employee? No one media source seems to have gotten this straight. But it doesn’t matter.
Our ruling is that if you chose to party with Lindsay Lohan, you’re a douche. If you end up partying near her and photograph her partying and she goes crazy train on you and you throw down WWE moves to save your precious pictures (after all it is your phone and assuming this took place in a public place) you’re awesome.
The two cancel each other out, so the alleged in this party gets a neutral ruling. The story, however, gets an awesome ruling.
Is it worth it to go to grad school before working on the hill? I have been thinking of getting my masters, but is it really necessary when working on the hill? What benefits come with having one? – Josh
Thanks for writing in, Josh. As this column has previously examined, it is not worth getting your master’s degree if you want to work on the hill. If you want to take the debt riddled plunge into even higher education, do it because you want to leave the hill and plan to go somewhere else.
You absolutely do not need a masters to work on the hill. In no way shape or form. What benefits come from having one? You can act like a snob, I guess. Other than that, I don’t see any. Then again, no masters is needed to act like a snob on the hill.
I am wondering how I should handle the classic interview question, “Why are you leaving your current job?”
I am leaving my current job because the pay is terrible, the people are terrible, the organization is going down the commode, and I feel like stabbing myself in the eye with a pencil every day as I arrive at work. I’m at the point where I’m applying to jobs in different fields and below my skill level just to get away from this place.
Any suggestions on how to answer this question? Thanks.– Cheesed Off
Dear Cheesed,
Very graphic description of how you feel about your current job, but I think it’s inadvisable to stab yourself in the eye with a pencil. Take that rage out on a hollywood starlet or something, but don’t be Chris Brown. From your message, it sounds like you are leaving the hill. If so, congrats on your plans to escape. This is an age old question, but the answer depends on what you want to do.
Are you leaving town forever? If so, be honest with employers that you didn’t like where you were and what you were doing. If you’re planning on staying in town, you might want to put it more delicately.
As much as this answer sucks, you’re going to have to lie if you want to stay on good terms in this town. Unless your employer is out to fuck you. Then go for the jugular. But, generally I’d say stick to the “I feel I’d accomplished all I had planned to in this job” line and that you are “looking to try something new.”
That will work, especially if you’re willing to take a step down just to escape with your sanity. Remember, you may be paid poorly (the same or less) in your new job, but your sanity and sense of self worth have a market value. Free time that’s actually enjoyed is worth a lot more than free time where you’re continually pissed / worried about things at work.
Good luck and maybe you should be writing a column here.
Can a position as a scheduler lead to legislative position down the road? — Bob
In the House, you bet. In the Senate, well, probably not.
Schedulers for lowly House members are like alternate Staff Asst positions. Some members who are more involved tend to want schedulers who are more proactive, and thus not really planning on going into policy.
I am not trying to say that schedulers wouldn’t make good policy staffers, just most of them wouldn’t. Nearly all schedulers, at least the good ones, have to have an idea of the policies of the moment, their boss’s view, and who doesn’t/does get a meeting.
It should be obvious whether or not an office can provide you a roadmap to a legislative future through the scheduler’s desk. I had a guy friend who went from scheduler to LA. I had a smart gal friend who was interested in policy but coerced to go into scheduling. She was the best damn scheduler in the Congress.
It’s an important job, scheduling. But each office treats it differently. If you’re not in the office, ask a friend about that office and whether it’s possible. Above all, make sure you ask if you interview. No harm in doing that.
Dear Hill Staffer
I’ve been in DC for a few years, and I’m ready to head for the hills (aka home). Do you have any tips to network with cross-country colleagues to get a good job back home?
- Dorothy with the Red Slippers who is not in Kansas anymore
Dear Dorothy,
I have no clue what you did in your years in DC, but nobody blames you for wanting to flee the swamp. Potomac fever can often turn into a near fatal disease that results in you being out of touch with the real world. “You think gas prices are high? Well, not if you factor in inflation and ….” Best of luck in getting a job back home.
The thing is, not every career here in DC has an easy counterpart in Wichita Falls. I’d say the easiest thing to do is get active in your state society — nearly every state has one. Those folks are probably the best to help you find a good job back home.
The problem is, at least for folks like me, unless I want to work for a bank, a greeting card company or a paint company, there isn’t that much to do where I came from. You need to be realistic with yourself about what jobs exist in your hometown. Odds are, by comparison, you’ll have to lower your expectations.
Enjoy our Lindsay Lohan and Congressional Staffer post, check out other Hill Staffer Articles!
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