Mentor You – Issue 4

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Playing for Keeps Review – Gerard Butler’s latest doesn’t disappoint

The holiday’s season newest offering is “Playing for Keeps,” a warm, likeable film featuring a star-studded cast of characters, including Gerard Butler, Jessica Biel, Uma Thurman, Dennis Quaid, and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Butler plays George Dwyer, an aging former European and American soccer star, whose life motivations seem to have fallen by the waysides now that he’s been forced out of the sport he loves by injury. Like many professional athletes entering the real world, he’s left with a difficult existential question: what does he do now?

What he hasn’t been doing is being a committed Dad to his adorable, 9-year old son Lewis, who lives with his Mom (Biel) in Alexandria. Dwyer is listless and unprepared for the challenges of quiet suburban living; meanwhile his ex-wife, tired of empty promises, is remarrying, effectively, moving on, but still wants begs him to play a role in the life of his son. Spurred on, Dwyer discovers his son’s soccer team lacks a sufficient coach, and takes over, both to be in his son’s life again, and to show his ex-wife he can be a good Dad, and person too. It’s not easy: the team’s soccer moms are high-powered Desperate Housewife types looking to score, while one of the Dads (Quaid) parades him around lavish parties as a trophy, in exchange for money, and use of a Ferrari.

The feel-good part of this is that, of course, Dwyer learns to move past the fast women-fast cars predilections of his old ways, realizing that it’s being with your family, in a meaningful way, that’s really important. Romantic comedy isn’t usually Cloture Club’s favorite genre, but we find this one to be particularly emotionally honest, and funny to boot.

Playing for Keeps Review Trailer

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Fashion Passion!

A recurring theme in my advice is that it is important to follow our passions. Some of my clients struggle to discover what it is that motivates them, and then, once they realize it, contemplate how they can achieve their desire. If our passion falls outside of our day job, do we always need to give up our full time position to realize or practice our bliss? As I mentioned in previous columns, while it would be wonderful if they were both the same, this isn’t always the case. Even following our passion on the side creates challenges since time is a valuable commodity.

When I think about all the people who have expressed their dilemma and lack of time, I’m reminded of one client’s success story. Several years ago, I met Jennifer through a mutual friend (sound familiar?), and the three of us had lunch at Johnny’s Half Shell to find out if a mentor relationship would be of value. Jennifer was working as a lobbyist while getting her J.D. – not an easy task! During our discussion, she mentioned a passion for fashion and expressed her desire to write a blog targeting Capitol Hill. Although she liked her profession, the more she talked about her “side” bliss, the more her eyes lit up over the possibilities. I suggested that she get the courage to follow her dream even if it was only part time. Several months later, I received an invitation to attend the opening of her project: http://fashiondelegate.com.

As I was driving to her event on a Saturday afternoon, I envisioned a small gathering of friends in a cozy restaurant or perhaps an intimate group mulling around someone’s backyard. I passed the correct location several times and was confused because the size of the place was huge and not what I expected. That’s when I stopped scratching my head and realized two things: 1) I was at the right location and 2) Jennifer does nothing small! Before me was the home of a prominent Washington Redskin player and I felt like I was attending the opening of a Hollywood movie premiere. Needless to say, I was extremely impressed not only by the quality of the event but how someone with so much on her plate could pull this off.

Jennifer had the courage to follow her passion. She agreed to share some of her insight for my readers about how she followed and found her bliss:

Arnie: How and why did you get interested in fashion?

Jennifer: Fashion and politics are the two loves of my professional life. I came up with Fashion Delegate – a fashion meets politics site – to serve as a platform for political style in DC. We also use the site to promote and bring awareness to policy issues that affect the fashion industry on Capitol Hill. The fashion industry is often underrepresented and misunderstood on Capitol Hill.

Arnie: How were you able to fit your job, JD and the blog into your schedule?

Jennifer: Going to law school and grad school while working taught me a lot about time management – efficient but effective. Now that I’ve completed school, running a website and working full-time is a catwalk (wink).

Arnie: What was your greatest challenge?

Jennifer: My greatest challenge is going through the journey. When you are passionate about something and begin the process to accomplish it, the goal is to be successful. But success carries strain, which is often in the journey. My challenge has been enduring the journey.

Arnie: Would you recommend to our readers to follow their own passions?

Jennifer: Life is about purpose and purpose comes from passion. Everyone should pursue their passion; it’s our gift to life.

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Arnie Thomas is President & CEO of A Thomas Group LLC. He mentors, consults on client services, relationship management, leadership development, strategic consulting, and professional speaking. For more information or to set up a consultation, please email him at athomasgroup@gmail.com.

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Enjoy Arnie Thomas’s Fashion Passion!, check out other exclusive articles!

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Be Open To A Different Package

Many of my clients are searching for something in their lives. Some think that through their work, they can find what it is they are seeking whether it is a better title, a promotion, a more meaningful job, more respect, better leadership or relationship skills, a balanced life, or other indicators. Some envision a very detailed picture of their dream and want to control how they obtain it. However, often times we may find we get what we want, yet the wrapping and package may be different than expected.

I had an accomplished and intelligent employee – let’s call him Sam – who is ambitious to advance his career and was eager to climb within the company. He’d often express his desires to me and some frustrations such as wanting a more visible role, a higher salary, the opportunity to manage a staff, and to have an office. While he was happy with the company, he made no secret of the fact that he would pursue opportunities elsewhere if his path were blocked (he only expressed them to me and in confidence). When various offices became vacant, he would ask for them and in one case after I left actually did move into one without approval (he later had to surrender the office).

Many times when employees reach this point, they are under the assumption that all they have to do is work harder, gain more training, make the right relationships in upper management, and wait within their own timeline. And, while I totally promote the idea of “smart” hard work and improving ones skills through training and education, there are a few problems with this approach:

1. The company knows more about its direction and management’s needs
   
   than the employee. Whether this is right or wrong may be debatable,
   
   but it tends to be the truth.


2. The employee possesses skills and is obtaining needed training, yet
   
   is lacking necessary real life experiences to lead others.


3. The employee’s past reputation on how s/he handled problems follows
   
   them, yet management is not communicating that to the employee,
   
   unfortunately.


4. There is some type of discrimination in the promotion practices by
   
   the company.


5. Their direct supervisor is ineffective.


6. The employee is not getting credit for successes at work.


7. The employee’s timeline is not in sync with the universe’s timeline.

Some of these reasons above could and should be handled by an effective human resources department, but some are out of the direct control of the employee, especially the timeline. So what happened to Sam?

Sam is now in management leading a small staff and has the potential to earn more money. What changes happened in the company that led to this turn around? The answer is that Sam was laid off and subsequently hired by an organization that saw his potential. When word that he was available reached his contacts, he began talking with many of them and considered starting up a consulting firm. He had a few clients lined up and then one organization offered him a position that was created. It matched many of his dreams and, in turn, he is able to provide the new company with the edge they were seeking. Around the same time and unfortunately, three people close to him passed away within three months of each other; through these experiences he was able to see life and those around him in a different light. We do not wish for bad things to happen in order to grow, but we do not have control most times – you have to take the good and the bad when it happens and immerse yourself in each. Often when faced with adversity comes a greater sense of maturity. And, in the midst of all this, he met and began dating a significant other.

We may think that we have control over our destiny and dreams and that our future will come gift wrapped as we envision. It rarely turns out to be the reality. Hard work and preparation may put you in position to achieve your dreams; but be ready to accept them when they come along even if the packaging is different than the way we foresee it happening. Control is often a fantasy, but if you are committed to your destiny, dreams are for real!

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10 DC Websites You Should Know About But Don’t

Here is a list of 10 DC websites/blogs that we think are worthy of your time and browser:

#1 – Marginal Revolution

Website: http://www.MarginalRevolution.com

Local George Mason economists chime in on the news of the day.

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#2 – DC Like a Local

Website: http://www.dclikealocal.com/ | Twitter: @DCLikeALocal

A local blog written by a certified DC tourist. Yes! DC does require a test for this. Author Tim Krepp shares the techniques and tips for getting the best out of DC. We’ve actually sited his theory on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in our Urban Legends of the Lincoln Memorial post. Not often updated but past posts are certainly worth your time.

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#3 – Curbed DC

Website: http://dc.curbed.com/ | Twitter: @CurbedDC

Want to know more about DC real estate and neighborhoods? This is the blog for you. It’s not boring site about houses, it has lots of interesting items even renters will love.

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#4 – ARL Now

Website: http://www.arlnow.com/ | Twitter: @ARLnowDOTcom

Everybody knows about Prince of Petworth and all of the local DC blogs. However, there’s a great one for you Northern Virginians. Sorry, Alexandria, no soup for you.

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#5 – Ghosts of DC

Website: http://www.GhostsOfDc.org | Twitter: @GhostsofDC

Ghosts does a great job of sharing the history of DC with fun facts and photos.

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#6 – Frozen Tropics

Website: http://frozentropics.blogspot.com | Twitter: @FrozenTropics

Frozen Tropics offers a look of whats going on in Trinidad, H Street, and capitol hill.

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#7 – Breaking Calvin

Website: https://clayton-hanson.squarespace.com/breaking-calvin/

A local author uses Calvin and Hobbes to depict scenes from Breaking Bad. Five seasons, in fact.

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#8 – 14 and You

Website: 14thandYou.Blogspot.com

Want to follow whats going on at U street? This blog keeps you updated in the fastest growing areas in DC.

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#9 – Post Secret

Website: http://www.postsecret.com/ | Twitter: @PostSecret

An ongoing “community” art project where people from around the world send secrets through post cards. You’ve probably seen and read the book before. Who knew it started here?

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#10 – MightyHeaton.com

Website: www.MightyHeaton.com | Twitter: @MightyHeaton

OK, this is a shameless plug, but if you haven’t followed our own Andrew Heaton, you should.

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Are we missing one? Let us know in the comment section!

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10 DC Websites You Should Know About But Don’t

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Follow Your Bliss – A Case Study

Many of my clients come to me with a confused sense of what they really want to do next in their work life. A few of the many reasons are:

• Depending on their age, they find their thinking is different than their parents.


• They believe that their next job is their last and therefore are afraid to commit.


• They are in debt or they are making too much money to leave the job they hate.


• They know they want something else but are not sure what and are afraid of risk.

Another reason is that they confuse skills with passion. Recently a young woman that used to work for me reached out for a meeting to discuss her future. She is currently unemployed and wanted to brainstorm on possible opportunities opened to her. During the meeting, I asked her to describe her bliss or passion. She told me that she loved numbers, data, and research and didn’t know where to look. I asked again what her bliss and passion are and she said that she thought she just said it! No, I replied that I already understood that she had great skills in managing data and research; I wanted her to tell me what really excited her. I then asked her to tell me more about herself and her background – a question that I should have asked before she was transferred to me.

Too often our work gets in the way of our real job. As her manager, I should have known more about her “history” so I could understand her motivation better. I have included her exact words in answering my question and from this we discovered and discussed her real passion: helping inner city youth. We then brought into the discussion her skill set and she saw how she could use her skills in a non profit, for example, to help her reach her goals and “follow her bliss.”

“My parents were born and raised in the inner city of Baltimore. My mother received her high school diploma from a public school and never attended college. She became a young parent to my sister at the age of sixteen and since she focused on her child rather than her career, her life passion and goals became unreachable. Not having a father around, my dad dropped out of school after the eighth grade to help his mother support seven children. At the age of fourteen his mother died and he had to think about supporting himself instead of pursing his goals and aspirations.

Even though my parents had a rough upbringing and limited education, they always knew they wanted more for their children. Just like my parents, I was raised and educated in the inner city of Baltimore, but it never felt like I didn’t have the same opportunities as other children from wealthy homes. I was a very active child, as demonstrated in my involvement in many sports and activities such as soccer, dance, basketball, and national honor society. Many of my peers didn’t think college was an option for them, but I always knew I would attend and I choose Temple University over several other offers. At times it seemed a struggle to reach my goals because I didn’t have any great examples. My parents weren’t able to tell me about the college process or help me with my studies due to their lack of education, but they always tried to find resources to assist me. They would introduce me to people who went to college, attended school meetings about the college process, and got me involved with tutors and programs to help me with my schoolwork.

My parents showed me that you could overcome your circumstances. My dad was able to receive his high diploma in his 40’s, which was one of his goals, and soon started his own business. My mother and father taught me faith in God, hard work, and how to seek help in aspects you don’t know about but that can help you achieve anything you want in this world. Sometimes you may fail, but you must pick up the pieces and move forward. Now that I have two nephews who are being raised by only their mother on the hard streets of Baltimore City, I want them to know their goals and aspirations are achievable. Most of the time society believes that these young people have a low chance to succeed, but I know it doesn’t have to be that way if we support and provide opportunities that will help the inner city youth.

It is very dear to my heart to help today’s underprivileged children to achieve their goals or create goals and provide them opportunities. Children should be exposed to positive outlets such as being involved in sports, clubs, or organizations. These social activities can help them stay out of trouble and interact with others from different social and economic backgrounds. When I was young and involved in sports and other activities, I was able to diversify my friends and avoid drugs and other negative influences. In addition, it can help build one’s character and provide a support system. There should be opportunities where these children not only learn good study habits but also how to start a business, navigate the college application process, and saving money. Furthermore, I want to be able to tell them to dream and go for your passion.

Now at the age of twenty-five, I understand that it is okay to go for what you really want to do. Society’s expectations can put you in a box. The pressures of doubt of not succeeding or having the resources to succeed stops can hinder you from pursuing your passion. Don’t let it stop you! One must understand life is full of triumphs and failures, but you should pursue something you love rather than doing something you hate. There are so many people in this world who dislike their job and wish they were doing something else. Looking back at what my parents went through and taught me, I truly understand no obstacle or roadblock is too big to overcome. Know that everything will not be achieved but the determination to pursue it is the biggest fulfillment. “

I believe that when you follow your true bliss and passion, you will also find success and rewards that cannot be matched on another path. Yes, your strengths and weaknesses should be examined and thrown into the equation but we all have a set of skills that can be applied to our passion just as the young woman has discovered above. If you believe that you cannot follow your passion in your job, then at least follow it outside your job. In the end, it is your life and don’t sell yourself short.

P.S. If you know of any organizations that would be lucky enough to hire her, please pass them my way at AthomasGroup@gmail.com!

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Enjoy Arnie Thomas Follow Your Bliss, check out other great articles by Arnie!

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Beer 101 – Beer Styles

You’ve been shamed at one too many gatherings, embarrassing family and friends with your weak beer knowledge, palate, and appreciation for man’s best friend – if you think dog is man’s best friend, the prosecution rests. Enter the new, improved, and devastatingly handsome you, armed with enough knowledge of the sudsy savior to drown all naysayers in a bath of bubblies. Half-assed openings aside, all you need to one-up your know-it-all beer snob buddy who keeps professing to you the differences between light and dark beer like he’s an extra in Van Wilder, is here.

The BJCP (Beer Judge Certification Program) lists eighty-some beer styles for competition. Fret not, you needn’t memorize sixteen feet worth of little piggies to impress that hot co-worker whom, we promise, really would like you if you could rattle off hops profiles for the new, trendy IPA all the kids have been talking about. All beer styles can be counted on just three middle fingers.

1. Ale

2. Lager

3. Lambic

All beers fall into one of these styles, defined primarily by the type of yeast used during fermentation. By sheer consumption, lager is the most wide-spread, with well more than one half of all beers consumed being a type of lager, however, sub-styles of lager only range in the number of 15-20. Ales are consumed far less often with the number of sub-styles weighing in above 60.

Ale

Generally, the most diverse of the three primary styles, ales are often characterized by a malty, slightly fruity body and may or may not exhibit strong hops characteristics. Ales use top-fermenting yeast and are fermented at warmer temperatures than lager – usually between 65-75 degrees F. Warm(er) fermentation produces more fruity and floral notes regardless of what type of yeast is used, a characteristic brewers use to create distinct, bold, and full-flavor recipes. Ales are most popular amongst self-professed beer geeks, home brewers, and professional drinkers. Ales include IPA, pale ale, porter, hefeweizen, and most ‘ambers’.

Lager

The most widely consumed of the primary styles, lagers tend to impart cleaner and less fruity notes than ale. Lagers use bottom-fermenting yeast and are fermented at cool(er) temperatures – generally between 45-60 degrees F. Lagers have received a bad rap amongst many beer geeks, unfortunately, due to the omnipresence of Budweiser, Miller, and Coors. Although all fall into the same category – light lager or pilsner – neither of which represent the full family of lagers, the stigma has stuck. Some of my favorite styles are lagers – double bock, dunkel, and schwarzbier (black lager). Lagers are a great starting point for wine drinkers, beer noobs, and curious girlfriends interested in developing their palate.

Lambic

The least understood of the three primary styles, lambics are a ‘spontaneously-fermented’ beer. Lambics were originally fermented in the open, allowing wild yeast (which is all around us – AGH!) to work their magic…or not. Nowadays very, very few brewers allow spontaneous fermentation because it’s a bitch and hard to control the results. Wild yeast is now propagated and intentionally added, but taste a lambic and you’ll know you’re drinking something different. Lambics tend to display sour, tart, and sometimes funky, musty notes. As a semi-informed-beer-geek-in-the-making I’m quite sure you’re not disparaging lambics as you read this, questioning why anyone would drink a beer that may or may not taste like your roommate dipped his crusty gym socks in your glass. Lambic is the original beer, existing many moons before beer’s best friend knew what yeast is. Most lambics are now brewed with fruit or juice as it complements the lambic funk well. Try one.

Yeast, it’s what defines the three primary styles, not hops or grain profiles, or alcohol content. Those would help define the sub-styles but our fantastic, fungal friend is our primary concern. I didn’t mention this until now, so as not to offend your palatal sensibilities, but yeast is indeed a type of fungus. Yeast’s role in making beer is to consume simple sugar chains extracted from grain and convert it to CO2, and most importantly, alcohol. And since I’m juvenile I’ll mention that it is possible for beer to get a yeast infection and less pleasant than you might think. Yummy.

So there you have it, you’re now equipped to school even the most ardent beer drinker without the need of a calculator – although it does help to use middle fingers to count. Hopefully, you’ll cease dishonoring your family now that you know. Cheers!

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Aaron Emery has written for numerous websites and has been brewing for several years. He and a partner plan on opening a microbrewery in northern Virginia in the next year. You can reach the author at aaroncemery@gmail.com.

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Branding 101

Kraft, Apple, IBM and Nike are all name brands that bring a cerebral and emotional reactions recalling upon your experiences with these products. Each spends millions of dollars in advertising annually to promote their brands as they want you to perceive them. Their aim is that when you go to make a purchase, you recognize them and buy their products instead of the competition. They are easily recognizable, and you can likely describe these brands.

Branding 101

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Write down 5-10 words to describe the brands of these companies. Then, write down 5-10 words to describe your own brand. Put them aside for now – we’ll return later.

Our personal brand is how we and others perceive us, which is critical as perception is reality. What words would they use to describe you? Would they hesitate and struggle to find the words or would they easily and freely talk about you? Whether we like it or not, our personal brand affects our relationships, job opportunities, promotions, seating at a restaurant, and much more. There are some parts of our brand with which we have little control over, like our family, where we grew up, our height, and our “natural” gifts. How others perceive this part of our brand is often dictated by how we perceive ourselves, value who we are, and present that security or insecurity to the public.

Yet, there is a great deal of our brand that we can control and can change it. When I was in high school, I failed tenth grade because – well, let’s just say that my friends and I had a great deal of “fun” that year. When I told my mother I was going to fail, she said plainly, “I hope you will do better next year.” In other words, she put the responsibility on me to change. I needed to change my brand and wanted to take the steps necessary to accomplish it. I followed through with making changes to my peer group, where I hung out, my basic values and principles, my short and long term goals, and how I was going to make a difference in this world. For guidance, I looked for key mentors and positive influences. Wherever we are in our journey, we can wake up one morning and say, “Today I am going to develop a new and better brand.”

The first step is to discover where you want to be in a year or two and why. Look honestly at your strengths, uniqueness, and weaknesses. Will they help you achieve your goals? How can you build a strategy around your brand to make a difference? How can you use this “focused energy” to influence and help others? What weaknesses can you change now and which can you change in the near future to get to your goal? Focus on your work ethic, attitude, and punctuality. Make an effort towards being the solution instead of the barrier. Accept challenges and take calculated risks. Think first about how can you help others rather than how can others help you. Once you decide to make this change, stick to it and become a hero to yourself by not letting “you” down. There will be little need to scream to the world that you are changing or improving your brand because, if successful, others will see it as your change has a positive effect on them!

The second step is to evaluate the first impression you are projecting. When someone meets you for the first time, what does your appearance communicate about you? Think about the perception you want to project and ask yourself if there is room for changes in how you dress, look or communicate. It is a fact that first impressions matter, so take control of what you are projecting. Think about your goal for where you want to be in a year or two and start dressing and acting like that today. Take this opportunity to stand out in a positive way. There is a good article in the August 5, 2012, New York

Times Style section titled “Techies Break a Fashion Taboo” about successful women unafraid to dress well. When you walk into a room others should notice the change, and that is a good thing.

Now look back at the words you used to describe yourself and the companies listed and evaluate. Notice how they have successfully branded themselves. That is your goal, too. Look at your list and see where you intersect. What traits do you like? Which characteristics would you change? Which skills would you improve upon? Are you better than your competition and do you stand out from them? Is your personal brand good enough to get you to where you want to go? Our brand should be constantly evolving depending on feedback as we mature through our journeys. To make a positive difference in this world, we often need to be different in a positive way. Can you honestly say you are?

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Arnie Thomas is President & CEO of A Thomas Group LLC. He mentors, consults on client services, relationship management, leadership development, strategic consulting, and professional speaking. For more information or to set up a consultation, please email him at athomasgroup@gmail.com .

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Enjoy Arnie’s Branding 101, check out other great articles!

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Our Interview with Rep. Dan Boren

Dan Boren

Congressman from Oklahoma’s Second District

Cloture Club’s Andrew Heaton recently sat down with outgoing Congressman Dan Boren (D-OK). He’s leaving congress in January and we asked him the question everyone want’s to know – “What are the 5 things you’d like to do before you leave congress“. We’re happy to report we got all 5 on film!

Special thanks to Congressman Dan Boren and Congressman Dennis Kucinich for his guest appearance!

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If you enjoyed Andrew Heaton’s interview, our Washington-based humorist, check out more of his hilarity on his website website at MightyHeaton.com!

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