Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Be Open To A Different Package

Many of my clients are searching for something in their lives. Some think that through their work, they can find what it is they are seeking whether it is a better title, a promotion, a more meaningful job, more respect, better leadership or relationship skills, a balanced life, or other indicators. Some envision a very detailed picture of their dream and want to control how they obtain it. However, often times we may find we get what we want, yet the wrapping and package may be different than expected.


I had an accomplished and intelligent employee – let’s call him Sam – who is ambitious to advance his career and was eager to climb within the company. He’d often express his desires to me and some frustrations such as wanting a more visible role, a higher salary, the opportunity to manage a staff, and to have an office. While he was happy with the company, he made no secret of the fact that he would pursue opportunities elsewhere if his path were blocked (he only expressed them to me and in confidence). When various offices became vacant, he would ask for them and in one case after I left actually did move into one without approval (he later had to surrender the office).


Many times when employees reach this point, they are under the assumption that all they have to do is work harder, gain more training, make the right relationships in upper management, and wait within their own timeline. And, while I totally promote the idea of “smart” hard work and improving ones skills through training and education, there are a few problems with this approach:



  1. The company knows more about its direction and management’s needs

    than the employee. Whether this is right or wrong may be debatable,

    but it tends to be the truth.

  2. The employee possesses skills and is obtaining needed training, yet

    is lacking necessary real life experiences to lead others.

  3. The employee’s past reputation on how s/he handled problems follows

    them, yet management is not communicating that to the employee,

    unfortunately.

  4. There is some type of discrimination in the promotion practices by

    the company.

  5. Their direct supervisor is ineffective.

  6. The employee is not getting credit for successes at work.

  7. The employee’s timeline is not in sync with the universe’s timeline.


Some of these reasons above could and should be handled by an effective human resources department, but some are out of the direct control of the employee, especially the timeline. So what happened to Sam?


Sam is now in management leading a small staff and has the potential to earn more money. What changes happened in the company that led to this turn around? The answer is that Sam was laid off and subsequently hired by an organization that saw his potential. When word that he was available reached his contacts, he began talking with many of them and considered starting up a consulting firm. He had a few clients lined up and then one organization offered him a position that was created. It matched many of his dreams and, in turn, he is able to provide the new company with the edge they were seeking. Around the same time and unfortunately, three people close to him passed away within three months of each other; through these experiences he was able to see life and those around him in a different light. We do not wish for bad things to happen in order to grow, but we do not have control most times – you have to take the good and the bad when it happens and immerse yourself in each. Often when faced with adversity comes a greater sense of maturity. And, in the midst of all this, he met and began dating a significant other.


We may think that we have control over our destiny and dreams and that our future will come gift wrapped as we envision. It rarely turns out to be the reality. Hard work and preparation may put you in position to achieve your dreams; but be ready to accept them when they come along even if the packaging is different than the way we foresee it happening. Control is often a fantasy, but if you are committed to your destiny, dreams are for real!


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