You’ve been shamed at one too many gatherings, embarrassing family and friends with your weak beer knowledge, palate, and appreciation for man’s best friend – if you think dog is man’s best friend, the prosecution rests. Enter the new, improved, and devastatingly handsome you, armed with enough knowledge of the sudsy savior to drown all naysayers in a bath of bubblies. Half-assed openings aside, all you need to one-up your know-it-all beer snob buddy who keeps professing to you the differences between light and dark beer like he’s an extra in Van Wilder, is here.
The BJCP (Beer Judge Certification Program) lists eighty-some beer styles for competition. Fret not, you needn’t memorize sixteen feet worth of little piggies to impress that hot co-worker whom, we promise, really would like you if you could rattle off hops profiles for the new, trendy IPA all the kids have been talking about. All beer styles can be counted on just three middle fingers.
1. Ale
2. Lager
3. Lambic
All beers fall into one of these styles, defined primarily by the type of yeast used during fermentation. By sheer consumption, lager is the most wide-spread, with well more than one half of all beers consumed being a type of lager, however, sub-styles of lager only range in the number of 15-20. Ales are consumed far less often with the number of sub-styles weighing in above 60.
Ale
Generally, the most diverse of the three primary styles, ales are often characterized by a malty, slightly fruity body and may or may not exhibit strong hops characteristics. Ales use top-fermenting yeast and are fermented at warmer temperatures than lager – usually between 65-75 degrees F. Warm(er) fermentation produces more fruity and floral notes regardless of what type of yeast is used, a characteristic brewers use to create distinct, bold, and full-flavor recipes. Ales are most popular amongst self-professed beer geeks, home brewers, and professional drinkers. Ales include IPA, pale ale, porter, hefeweizen, and most ‘ambers’.
Lager
The most widely consumed of the primary styles, lagers tend to impart cleaner and less fruity notes than ale. Lagers use bottom-fermenting yeast and are fermented at cool(er) temperatures – generally between 45-60 degrees F. Lagers have received a bad rap amongst many beer geeks, unfortunately, due to the omnipresence of Budweiser, Miller, and Coors. Although all fall into the same category – light lager or pilsner – neither of which represent the full family of lagers, the stigma has stuck. Some of my favorite styles are lagers – double bock, dunkel, and schwarzbier (black lager). Lagers are a great starting point for wine drinkers, beer noobs, and curious girlfriends interested in developing their palate.
Lambic
The least understood of the three primary styles, lambics are a ‘spontaneously-fermented’ beer. Lambics were originally fermented in the open, allowing wild yeast (which is all around us – AGH!) to work their magic…or not. Nowadays very, very few brewers allow spontaneous fermentation because it’s a bitch and hard to control the results. Wild yeast is now propagated and intentionally added, but taste a lambic and you’ll know you’re drinking something different. Lambics tend to display sour, tart, and sometimes funky, musty notes. As a semi-informed-beer-geek-in-the-making I’m quite sure you’re not disparaging lambics as you read this, questioning why anyone would drink a beer that may or may not taste like your roommate dipped his crusty gym socks in your glass. Lambic is the original beer, existing many moons before beer’s best friend knew what yeast is. Most lambics are now brewed with fruit or juice as it complements the lambic funk well. Try one.
Yeast, it’s what defines the three primary styles, not hops or grain profiles, or alcohol content. Those would help define the sub-styles but our fantastic, fungal friend is our primary concern. I didn’t mention this until now, so as not to offend your palatal sensibilities, but yeast is indeed a type of fungus. Yeast’s role in making beer is to consume simple sugar chains extracted from grain and convert it to CO2, and most importantly, alcohol. And since I’m juvenile I’ll mention that it is possible for beer to get a yeast infection and less pleasant than you might think. Yummy.
So there you have it, you’re now equipped to school even the most ardent beer drinker without the need of a calculator – although it does help to use middle fingers to count. Hopefully, you’ll cease dishonoring your family now that you know. Cheers!
Aaron Emery has written for numerous websites and has been brewing for several years. He and a partner plan on opening a microbrewery in northern Virginia in the next year. You can reach the author at aaroncemery@gmail.com.
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