Earning Influence

The ability to influence is one of the most honorable and powerful things to hold in life. Influence is not manipulation of others for personal benefit and profit. Those that place importance on getting ahead at all costs and only think of themselves may gain short-term affluence; but it is very shortsighted and the price is losing the opportunity for long-term influence. When we have earned the trust of others who value our opinions and allow us the chance to change their hearts and minds we have attained influence. Yet, just like a good martini, it takes time, experience, and the right ingredients to appreciate and understand. Influence is accomplished with competency, integrity, caring, vulnerability, and sacrifice leading to relationships founded on earned trust and the belief that the influencer cares more about others than themselves.

In order to build influence, one must be prepared to sacrifice by giving a little piece of themself for the benefit of others, especially when it is not convenient. I experienced this first-hand when I was a teenager in Frederick, Maryland, when I was involved in a state legislative program through the YMCA. I had the opportunity to draft a mock bill on capital punishment and present it to a committee and a special teenage legislative session at the State House in Annapolis. I researched the issue and canvassed local citizens to get their opinions. I reached out to Senator Mac Mathias for help who, during a very busy session in Congress, was more than willing to meet with a young non-voter and spend several hours helping with my draft. Later, I learned that this was not unusual for the Senator: his caring and sacrifice earned him influence forever with me and countless others.

Think back to those in your life that have influenced you and their common trait is most likely integrity. They stood for a message greater than themselves and they stay true to that ideal, especially during challenging times. One such example I’d like to share is the tale of a lobbyist I know who runs a one-man operation. He has built up an impeccable reputation for his integrity as he only accepts clients who practice social justice; at various times, he has turned down lucrative contracts that ran counter to the ideals he practices. He has placed himself in grave international danger fighting just causes and has earned a great deal of influence and respect for being consistent.

Recently, I had lunch with a mentoring client and she expressed how excited she was because she finally was selected to speak at a very prestigious conference. She told me that one of her strongest adversaries over the years was instrumental in nominating her for the opportunity. Why? Her adversary said that something had changed in her. Instead of always trying to be right and thinking of her own advancement, she was seen in the community as thinking about others now and working for the greater cause. Her competency was never in question, but her motives were suspect. The biggest change happened a few months ago when she was able to say that she could possibly be wrong and she needed help: this vulnerability opened up her authenticity and trust soon followed. Many in DC are afraid to admit fear and expose themselves so they come across as fake and insecure. Until they become authentic and learn that others are more important than their own interests, they will never wear the crown of influence.

Although my clients often ask, no one else can make them influential. A mentor can guide others towards the ingredients to influence and encourage them to build relationships, foster integrity, and display authenticity. Influence is earned – it has nothing to do with manipulation or clever tricks – and is attained once you care about others more than yourself.

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